Just Sick Tonight

Today has been a really tough day. A while back I made the decision to try to find Meri, my Chocolate, a new home. This has been a very hard decision but in the end I truly feel that it is what is best for her and for my little family. Meri is a very needy dog with great energy, she just loves to be loved, and I know that I just won't be able to give her what she needs once I bring my daughter home. Meri needs a family with kids to play with her all the time, to run, throw the ball and love on her. She is the one that would flourish in a one dog family situation, so she didn't need to compete for love with the other dogs. I found her the perfect place! Her new family lives on acreage and they have 3 kids, perfect! So today was 'adoption' day, appropriate. I must admit that this has been much more difficult than I even thought. I worry so much for her right now. Is she scared? Are they being sensitive to her in this scary transition? Are they sleeping with her in the garage as they had planned? (A garage slumber party with the kids was planned.) I feel like a terrible person, this is not me, I am not the girl that gives up a dog on a whim. I just need to be realistic, I need to plan now for the sake of my baby, my own sanity, and the needs of my dogs, and adopting Meri out was the best scenario for both of us. As I write this I have a hard time even convincing myself that this was the right decision. I am just ill tonight. Those same attachment issues that I read over and over about in my books, well that is what I just did to my dog. Terrible! I feel like a really crappy person tonight. I am hopeful that as time goes by, and I get my updates from Meri's new family, I will feel more comfortable with my decision and her new home, but for now, I am sick with worry and sadness.