Life in Aqtobe

A fun post today. Here are some photos of life in Aqtobe.















The steam from the basement of the apartments pushes the snow/frost up the apartment to nearly cover several windows and balconies.













Yes, here is a clothes line that is actually in use during the freezing winter months, and this is the only clothes line out in the city, this is just one of probably...........a million in just Aqtobe. I guess the clothes do dry, even though they may dry as icycles. The people then bring their clothes inside to dethaw in their balconies and it is said that they are very fresh and all bacteria are now gone. Check out the icycles on the sweater. Crazy!














Garbage and garbage removal. Check out the bobcat, there is a blanket over the engine, man is it cold.















Here are a couple photos of kids in Aqtobe. One of my favorite things about life here is seeing the little kids all bundled up like marshmallows being pulled by their parents on these little wooden sleds.

Apartment Here We Come!

Well, today I went to see our new digs, looks like as of this Sunday, I will be renting an apartment for our last week in Aqtobe; that sounds weird, ‘our last week in Aqtobe,’ this too will be Zahri’s last week here. Mixed emotions! My hope is that Monday I will have official custody of Z, and that afternoon I will bring her to our new one bedroom apartment. Thank you all SO very much for your opinions on bringing Zahri to my hotel / apartment versus continuing our normal daily routine at the orphanage. After much thought, I agree that this will be best for both of us. This time alone, with just Zahri and I, will give me that time to know her routine, to get to know her tummy, her signals, her sleep patterns or lack there of, her choices for food, etc. It will also give us time for her to connect to me as her sole security. I want for her to feel some comfort with me before we board the plane, and I think that a week alone will help her see that I am safe and that I will take care of her. So my plan is to do my last bits of shopping Friday and Saturday, and then on Sunday I will be moving and visiting the grocery store to load up on a week’s worth of groceries for both of us. It is so crazy, I have had nearly 5+ weeks of shopping and such here, and now that I know I have only 2 more days to shop for souvenirs and gifts, I am stressing at how to get it all done.

Yesterday Bayan (one of my favorite caregivers) and Bayan (my favorite translator) and I went over Zahri’s daily routine. They let me know when she eats, what she eats, when she sleeps, when they play, etc. And then I asked about Zahri’s tummy, is she regular, what should I be expecting? I know that this has been a hurdle for many families once they take their children from the baby house, so I wanted to know if Z had any issues as of late. The good news is that it sounds like she is pretty regular and that she is not a finicky eater at all, the bad news (and a major decision maker for me in deciding to take the apartment no matter what) was the knowledge that they had started to ‘potty train’ Zahri. I put ‘potty train’ in quotation marks because I was desperately hoping that they hadn’t started this practice yet with Z, but indeed they have. For those of you that don’t know how they potty train it is just about as warm and fuzzy as how they feed the babies. They don’t have time to hold each child on the potty until they go, they don’t help the boys practice shooting cheerios, they don’t read them books about going pee pee in the potty, nothing fun by any means. Needless to say that diapers are quite spendy so they must potty train asap. Anyhow, this was enough to solidify in my mind the need for me to have her with me as soon as we possibly could. So Monday at the apartment it is! Crazy!!!!

Today Sarah, Geert & Ganna officially became a family, as did Evy, Davy & Ilyan! Yahooo! This afternoon the babies were picked up at the orphanage and both families are now enjoying their time together in their apartments as a family. It is just amazing really, what a crazy feeling! Tomorrow we are all going over to Davy and Evy’s apartment for a celebratory Belgium meal consisting of beef stew & dark Beer. I can’t wait! I am bringing some local smoked cheese for the beer too. Mmmmm! Yesterday at the orphanage, Evy made Belgium Pancakes, which are what I remember as Crepes from my trip to Paris, and they were phenomenal. Evy had made the pancakes the night before and then we heated them up with my hot plate at the orphanage, put butter and brown sugar on them, rolled them up and mowed them down. They were fantastic! The first photo is of Geert, Sarah and Ganna and the second photo is Evy, Davy and Ilyan.







Here is Zahri yesterday, she was playing with the huge mouse in the playroom. We thought that we best pull him down since it is the year of the rat/mouse. It was a warm and sunny day, warm being like zero degrees, but warm to us nonetheless, so we opened the blinds and let the sun shine in.













Here is also a photo of the Mosque a couple days ago, we had a wonderful snow, and the photo turned out perfect. Several University students were walking hand in hand with their stiletto boots, fur coats & cute hats. The photo was a fun one to take, a great memory of my time here.

What would I want if I had been adopted?

HAPPY 10TH BIRTHDAY TY 'BEAR'!!!!!!! I can’t believe that my oldest nephew, my first godson, is now 10!!! That is just crazy!! I love and miss you all and can’t wait to see you when we get home! (Ty is on the far left of the photo, and next to him are his brothers, my other beautiful nephews, Elijah and Izaak.)

Today is Day #10 of 15 of our Appeal Period!!!! Wahoo! Our Appeal Period ends this Saturday, so I should get the final ‘final’ approval from the court on Monday. So here is now my next decision to make, one that I am now contemplating and looking into. On Monday, if everything is signed off in the morning, I can then take Z from the orphanage in the afternoon and have her with me from here on out if I choose to. Here are my dilemmas: First, I am currently in a tiny hotel room that would not suit 2 girls, and even if I trade up to a normal hotel room, what are we to do for a week in a hotel room? That just wouldn’t be ideal at all, and because I don’t want to take her out much in this cold, we would grow very weary of our tight living situation. I just can’t see how that would be a very healthy transition for her. So, I have Gulnara, my coordinator, looking into finding an apartment for a week for me. If we are able to rent a clean, safe apartment for only a week (hard to find – I mean it is hard to find an apartment that will rent for only a week), and for a reasonable price, I might do this. At least with an apartment we have room to play, we have a bath tub, we could cook her porridge and heat her formula in a real kitchen, we can wash her bibs/burp cloths in a real washing machine, etc. Or, do I just continue visiting her as I have done for the next week and pick her up the day before we travel? My question is this; would a week together be beneficial to us, to get a routine down, to learn each other on a more ‘real’ basis, to not worry about her while she remains at the orphanage, etc? Or, would it realistically be better to not disrupt our routine? To only spend a week with a whole new routine, to then spend another week with a whole new routine in Almaty, to then fly home with yet another new routine, is that first week of a new routine really a good idea? Would a week of change away from her normal routine really be the best for her, for us? Would I be better rested, and Z be more at ease, if I were to pick her up the day before we fly out? Part of me thinks that the fewer times we change up her routine, the better. And then of course there is that other part of me that just wants her with me, with MY care, asap. Ohhhh what to do! I would love your thoughts!

Can I say that I adore this girl enough? Z just has so much darn personality! God really did do a great job of pairing us up! Zahri seems to have some definite independence in her, she might be a bit strong willed, she definitely has tons of light in her heart, she is amazingly smart and she has a dynamite personality! I absolutely delight in her giggle! I relate to her love for music and her need to just shake her bootie. I am continually amazed at how smart she is! Today, Bayana played Z’s favorite song on her cell phone, and Z went straight for Bayana’s phone (she loves the tv, camera, cell phones, etc.) Bayana then quietly moved her phone to the other side without Zahri seeing, and Zahri then walked herself around Bayana (in her walker), to see if the phone was indeed on the other side now. Smart!! As I mentioned yesterday, she knows where the puppies are. When I mention, “Where are the puppies? Should we get the puppies?” she looks straight to the top of the piano. When I put the small stacking cup in the large stacking cup she knows to shake it very lightly so it doesn’t fly out right away, and when it does fly out, she waits for me to put it right back in the yellow cup so she can do it all over again.












Since I met Z, I have been making many noises with my mouth, like clicking my tongue, vibrating my lips, kissing, puffing my cheeks, etc. About a week ago she started to imitate me and starting also vibrating her lips…………might I remind you that she is forever drooling, so this is quite a messy new trick, but fun. Well just a couple days ago, when I was vibrating my lips and making noises, she reached up with her fingers and moved them up and down on my lips. What a fun game! She discovered that when she did this, it made really fun sounds, so now this is becoming a really fun new trick. I will have to pull this one out on the airplane………a couple times I am sure.

Here is our favorite black and white puppy. Zahri loves this puppy! I want to frame this photo for her room, as sort of a memento of our time at the orphanage together.

Oh yeah, I am totally pumped! I asked Aina if she could please get me the name of the hospital that Zahri was born at, and Aina gave that to me today, so this week we are going to stop by the hospital for a photo. I also asked Gulnara today if they ever took a photo of Z when she was brought to the orphanage. After some thought she said that the only photo that would be on file is the photo they take for her file at the Department of Education, but they won’t give that to us. I then asked if we could try to at least get a photo copy. Neither she nor Aina really understood why I would ask for this, and I said, I am just trying to think of what I would want if I had been adopted, and I would love a photo of me as a very small baby. I would also love a photo of the hospital where I was born. I would love anything that my family could gather for me to help me visualize my life before adoption. Anyhow, Gulnara said that she would ask if she could please at least get a photo copy of that photo for me. Ohhhh I sure hope that she can, that would be so awesome! I am not sure that I had mentioned this yet either, but a couple weeks ago I had asked if I could please trade the orphanage for the sweater that Z was wearing the day I met her and again on our first day of bonding. One of her caregivers said that she would quietly let me do this, please just buy a new sweater similar to the one Z was wearing and we would trade. So I now have that sweater also for Zahri’s hope chest. Here is a photo of our first day of bonding, the pink sweater is the sweater that I now have for her. Yeah!!!









Well, I learned something new this week; I learned how the caregivers feed our babies. Ugh! Our group had some talks about what is best, and we can see the reasoning behind their feeding style, but it sure isn’t very nurturing. The caregivers sit on the small little wooden chairs that you might have seen in my photos of the playroom; these chairs are maybe a foot off the ground, so when an adult sits on the chair, their legs bend perfectly at 90 degrees. The caregivers then lay the babies on their thighs, with the child’s head close to the caregiver’s knees, and the start to feed the child while laying flat on their legs. Ugh! No attachment, no real nurturing, just getting the job done. I can tell you that if I had to feed 10 babies, 3 times a day, the way that we feed them, lying in our arms, my arm would seriously fall right off after just one day. So, I am sure they just do what they need to do; it just hurts my heart to think that Z hasn’t had much connection while being fed. Here in lies one of our talks in our group, is it good for the children to attach to their caregivers? I mean, so far Z has been in her birth mom’s tummy and learned her sounds and her emotions, she was then in the hospital being cared for by the nurses for a month, and then she was in group #2 for a couple months being cared for by the 6 caregivers in that room and now she is in group #3 with her 6 new caregivers. If the caregivers intentionally care for these children with attachment in mind, is that best for them? This is a tough question! I said that it sure would be nice for the same caregivers to take the children from 1 month to 2 years and then if they had not yet been adopted, they would move up to the older baby house. But when I think of that, is that the best? I just don’t know what is really the best, but at least I can say that ‘for the most part’ I really like the caregivers in Z’s baby room.

Growing Leaps & Bounds

I can’t say it enough; it is just amazing how much these babies change in just a month’s time. I look at all of the babies, and they are growing and learning at amazing leaps & bounds. Just over a month ago Zahri had no leg strength, she would just sit back and watch me build a tower of stacking cups, she couldn’t get enough of watching everyone else but didn’t interact with me much, she would hold a toy but wouldn’t much play with it, she would look up at me without emotion yet with a look of please help me but I am not sure if I should trust you. Now, she is interacting with all of her toys; she is hitting toys together intentionally to hear the noise, knocking over the stacked cup tower, playing with the tags on the side of her Itsy Bitsy Spider Book, hitting the buttons on the walker intentionally to hear the music and such. Zahri is nearly crawling to grab those things that she wants, basically running in the walker, jumping, sitting on my lap while I read her a book, dancing, interacting with me on a one on one. So much growth!

In the past 2 days, I have noticed 3 new things with Z. First, she now understands how to make herself go forwards, backwards and sideways in the walker. She can move herself to any object that she wants to get at. At first she would just play with the toys on the walker but wouldn’t use her legs at all, and then she would put her feet on the ground but not make herself mobile. Then she figured out how to move her feet thus move her around the room, and now she moves in all directions with purpose. It is so fun to see! Yesterday she was dancing in her walker, dancing to Bayana’s music on her phone and dancing to Geert’s piano playing. Today, she was zooming around nearly screaming in delight. She loves it when I stomp my hands on the floor while crawling towards her and say, “I am going to get you.” She usually screams and laughs in anticipation.

Second, today Zahri truly understood Peek-a-boo. She had sort of gotten in the past but never really played back with me, but today she was looking around the tiger to find me. She was so darn cute.














We have also been playing a lot with the 2 stuffed dogs in the playroom and a bit with the big Tiger too. I want for Z to get comfortable with the puppies, so we pet them & I bark and pant and whine. (Yes I do this, only for the sake of Z………..or maybe more so for the sake of Diesel and Rylee, my little pooches waiting back home, we need to get her ready for them.) At first she wouldn’t even get close to the dogs. She would back away from them. Then she would at least look at them and not back away. Then she started to pet and tap on the dogs and play with the black dog’s nose, and just today, I said, “Should we get the puppies?” and she looked right to the top of the piano where they sit. She knew what I was talking about. I talked about the puppies a couple times before getting them down off the piano and she looked up to the piano each time. She is so darn smart!

Here we are feeding our little ones breakfast; this day it was some grayish brownish cream of wheat, pretty nasty looking I must say, so Z and I had some bananas too.












INTERESTING BELGUIM TIDBIT: So last night we (both Belgium couples, me and Bayana) went out to eat at a Ukrainian Restaurant and then went out bowling. While we waited for our lane to open up at the bowling alley we ordered drinks, beer and Coke. Davy then poured Coke about 1/3 of the way up in his glass and then he added his Becks beer to the Coke. Yikes! Beer and Coke? Together? On Purpose? They told me that this is very popular in Belgium, kind of like our Tomato Juice and Beer perhaps, so I tried it too, and I must admit that it was pretty tasty. So interesting.

Today, after our morning visit, Davy, Evy and I went to Sulpak. Sulpak is a great indoor mall with 3 floors plus a fourth level with a cafeteria. This is one of the nicer malls in Aqtobe that we have found, and the prices are fairly reasonable (I mean, reasonable compared to the other crazy prices in Aqtobe, still not cheap by any means.) Just outside the indoor mall there is also a huge outdoor market, and YES, even in negative a billion degree weather, the outdoor market is still open. It was freezing, but it was kind of fun too. These merchants must be crazy to do this year round! You can find anything from kid’s toys, to hats, to clothes, to rolls of material, shoes, pots & pans, etc. out there. There are also 2 smaller indoor markets inside the outdoor market too. So, we would spend about an hour outside and then head into one of the smaller indoor markets to shop and de-thaw and then back out to the market, it was great fun! I highly recommend shopping here if you stay in Aqtobe.

My Daily Drive to the Orphanage

Here is a fun video clip of my daily drive to see Z at her orphanage. It is much more exciting when you are experiencing the drive in real life, but this will give you a good idea of just how crazy bumpy the road is that leads us to Z's baby house. At the end of the video, you will see a quick shot of the Ymit Baby House, this is the front of the building, the 3rd wing. The front of the building is actually office spaces for businesses, nobody quite knows 'what businesses,' that is on the down low I guess. The babies are in the back 2 wings.

The 'Alia Museum'

Okay, how cute is my baby's pompom hat!!! Ms. Marla, a wonderful friend of mine in MN, bought Z a super cute little pompom hat, but sadly this is not the exact hat that Marla bought. Marla's gift prompted us to ask the little old lady that made the hat to please get us another 15 hats for me to then donate to the orphanage, well, I kept one of those hats also, just in case I needed a good hat for Z in Kaz. Glad that I did because I need a hat from Aqtobe to Almaty, so today we tried it on, and it is so darn cute!!! Thanks Ms. Marla!

There is also a photo of Z and Irena, Irena is the other family's translator, Z likes her too.


Today, between our visits, we went to the indoor market to pick up some random items. I bought some cabbage and carrot salad, and it is so good!!!! I also picked up some marinated mushrooms and they too are super yummy! It is ‘illegal’ to take photos in the indoor market, from what I heard it is potentially because of ‘Black Market’ items, so I was not able to grab photos of this section of the market. There are many tables that have plates full of salads, mushrooms, shredded carrots, chicken, beans, etc. When you buy these salads, the lady scoops up some with a measuring cup and puts it in a plastic bag for you. I was very nervous to buy any food at the market up until now, but Evy and Davy were buying food like it was safe, so I thought what the hay. I am so glad that I did. The cabbage salad that I bought was only 200 tenge, which is less than $2.00 as were the mushrooms. Mmmmmm! Oh yeah, I nearly forgot my favorite purchase today, I bought smoked cheese. Oh my heavens this stuff is good, a bit salty, but really good! We tried it for the first time at the Asia Bar last weekend, it is just as it is named, smoked cheese and it is awesome to eat while drinking beer. Make a note to try this in Kaz!

At the Market, I also picked up 3 local music cds, 2 with Dombra music and one of a local Almaty singing group. Fun! Of course, I had to get more local chocolate, mmmm. One of the bars was Nestle and it was milk chocolate with raisins and cookie in it. Yep, I have already eaten it all and it was delicious! I got fresh sliced bread, juice & yogurt for Z, etc. We then had lunch in the basement of the Mall next to the Alia Market, there is a cafeteria here and not only is the food really good but you can get a soda, soup, salad and rice meal for about $5.00 This is the cheapest and best restaurant/ cafeteria we have found. We all also agreed that seeing the food choices and being able to point and say da or nyet is super helpful as well. Hehe

After lunch we went to a Museum dedicated to the Aqtobe Region’s local WWII Hero – Alia. Yes, Zahria’s middle name is Alia, so this museum was extra interesting for me. Our travel guide was great, her English was so-so, but she was a wonderfully nice lady that did a good job of explaining Alia’s life, and get this, our guide’s name was also Alia. Too funny. This is what I gathered of Alia’s short life: Early in Alia’s life her mother died, and when her father remarried, she was disowned. Her uncle ended up taking her in. After many moves in her young life, her uncle’s family grew so much so that he could no longer financially take care of some of his children, so with Alia’s agreement, she was sent to an orphanage in her late youth / early teens along with one of her sisters. There she grew very close to her orphanage family. After finishing her schooling, which I believe was at about the age of 16, she started to attend a University studying Aviation. After only 3 months at the University, Alia was accepted and started training as a sniper in the Army, preparing her for service in WWII. While serving in WWII, Alia wrote many letters to her father (uncle) and her sister, so it sounded that she had no hard feelings against her father (uncle) for her time spent at the orphanage. Alia lost her life at only 18 years old, she is considered to be a Hero in Kazakhstan due to her stellar involvement and service in WWII. At the end of our tour, Bayan let Alia (our guide) know that my daughter’s name was also Alia (at least her middle name) so she brought me out a free book on Alia’s life, written in Kazak, an a photo book of the Aqtobe Region’s WWII heroes. Alia gave these items to me as a gift. I was so impressed and grateful for this, not that we will ever really be able to read the book on Alia’s life, but what a wonderful momento. The first photo is of the front of the Museum, the writing says, "Alia Museum." This museum is also located on the main level of an apartment building, interesting hu.