I love vacation, it is rare that I take time for me to just sit and read and think and feel, tonight is one of those rare nights that I am not filling my time putzing and doing, I took some time to soak up this adoption. As posted earlier, I came across the most amazing adoption blog/story yet, and Jocelyn had this video and lyrics posted on her blog as well, it is so appropriate that I too must post.
A couple weeks back, a friend and I were out to supper and I was jabbering on about my adoption, and he seemed a bit disinterested, so I asked, "Why is is that you are tuning me out?" and he replied back, "because the adoption is all you talk about." I must add that this is a past boyfriend whom I adore and he is conflicted w/ my choices to start a family on my own, anyhow, after pondering this hurtful comment for weeks, I talked w/ him this weekend about just how hurtful his comment was. Here is the thing, my life pre-adoption was filled w/ work, and that was it! I could work 14 hours a day and be fine with that because what else was I supposed to do? What else did I have to talk about? Work! When he and I would talk, it was always about my work or his work or snowmobiling or something of little substance. What is life really all about? Work? Money? Things? Status? Or is it about love? Family? I choose the latter and I needed the latter! I am ready for something more in my world, something of greater substance, something that can make me smile and raise my spirits while at work................not just work!
If you watch this video closely, you will see that it is all about when each of our times on this planet is up.....I don't want for my life to have been pointless when this happens, I want to have been touched, to have experienced motherhood, to have been blessed w/ this little gift across the ocean, I want for more than what I have, I want so much more and I wasn't willing to wait any longer, now is my time to no longer want, now is my time to act on my dream of adoption. I am coming baby!
So here it is:
Prison gates won't open up for me On these hands and knees I'm crawlin' Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls These iron bars can't hold my soul in All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'And oh I scream for you Hurry I'm fallin'
Show me what it's like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be Say it for me Say it to me And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Heaven's gates won't open up for me With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you These city walls ain't got no love for me I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you Come please I'm callin' And all I need from you Hurry I'm fallin'
Show me what it's like To be the last one standing And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be Say it for me Say it to me And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Izaak, Elijah & Ty 'Bear'
Cousins (Izaak wants to name my daughter (his cousin) Isabella, Sant (for 'Santa') or Hershey (his friend's dog's name.) Hmmmm I told him that if we name her 'Hershey,' that would mean that we get to give her a lot of kisses.
Kolter Matthius Simon
Littlest Cousin......possibly. Kolter may indeed be the same age as his little girl cousin in Kaz. :)
1 comment:
Christy,
After reading about your conversation with your friend, I am now knowing what you felt like.
Being a military wife, not living on base or working outside the home....many of my friends have moved to other bases now. I am down to 2 local friends. One is a retired Admirals wife (my antiquing buddy). Way beyond knowing how I'm feeling about having a child now.
I do bring up the adoption as any future mother would. It fills our life! The one friend I see the most seems to make little negative comments here and there. If my husband and I want to shop for something for the baby she constantly says "You don't need that" "Why are you buying that?" "Why don't you wait?"
Yesterday I was in tears after a phone conversation with her. I think it's because my mother, who passed away last year, would have been thrilled with everything we're doing...even the littlest of things. She was our biggest fan and always super positive about us adopting. I'm missing a super positive person in my life (other than my husband).
Hopefully we'll meet other Kaz families in our area of Northern VA! Sorry for the long post. Your message hit a cord with me.
Eileen
Post a Comment