Too Funny

Okay, so I am working on my second set of needed docs, this is the set of updated originals that I need to actually bring with me to Kaz, and so I got my 'police clearance letter today.' You just never know what these people are looking for, what should a police clearance letter say? I am a perfectly wonderful citizen, so what would it then say? Well..........this is what mine said:

RE: Background Check for Christina Danyell Simon, DOB: 03-03-76

Ms. Simon:

The following is the information that was located regarding your involvements with the Big Lake Police Department.

12-31-04 Homeowner – Alarm

05-28-04 Homeowner – Alarm

09-11-03 Homeowner – Alarm

08-23-03 Reported – Animal Complaint

06-05-03 Reported – Theft

..............so I emailed Anne and asked if this sounded normal, and even in my email to her I had to explain each incident. The alarms, that was me learning my new alarm system that rings directly to the PD when it goes off - it wasn't me running around town setting off alarms or anything, the animal complaint was the neighbor's stupid dog peeing on my deck one too many times not my vicious attack dogs sicking on the neighbor kids, and the theft was someone steeling crap out of my garage not me breaking in to someone's home and stealing their stuff..........but doesn't it look bad? Anne replied, and her subject line said ****JUNK**** police clearance letter. Hahahahaha! Okay, so it should only say that I don't have a record, no need to get so specific. :) I am getting that re-written tomorrow. :)