Well, I am going to be honest and say that I have had an emotional past 24 hours, it could have been partially enhanced by that dirty word PMS, but nonetheless I have been sad. Yesterday evening I had a 'travel call' with my agency, at first I didn't think much of the scheduled call, but as I started to ponder it more, I started wondering if maybe just maybe they were going to tell me to start packing my bags and getting ready for travel. I had already had a 'travel call' about a month ago, so I was sure that this was a different, much more important, 'travel call.' Quietly I let a couple people in on my hope, and bam, no LOI, just a plain ole travel call. Honestly, I fear that I tuned out 1/2 of the information given on the call because I was so sad. When the call was over, I vegged on my favorite chair, mind you I was supposed to call my sister right away, but I just vegged, nearly in tears. Beck, my sister, called at 10:00 frantic, what happened? Any news? Nope, nothing, just more travel stuff. And then she made it all clear, "Christy, this is just like those false labor pains when you are all excited, you go to the hospital, and then they tell you that it was a false alarm, you are not even dilated yet, go back home and wait it out." It is true, this was my false alarm. Needless to say, I have been sad all day. We are now entering into Kazakhstan's Holiday season, where Kaz government tends to shut down often for the holidays. Anne just confirmed that the government will indeed be shut down:
Days off will be December 16 to 22
December 16th is Independence day of Kazakhstan.
December 20th is Muslim Holiday Ait(the end of Holly month Ramadan).
Days off will also be December 31 to January 7
January 1st is a New Year day
January 7th is Russian Christmas
What does this mean to me? This means that even if tomorrow I received my LOI, and left for Kaz in one week (due to the time needed to get my Visa), I would hit all of these shutdowns. This means at least another week in Kazakhstan. Although that is great, more bonding time with my daughter, that of course means yet more moola, about $1500 more moola. Ugh! The good part is that even if there is a shut down during my mandatory 14 days of bonding, and I am not able to visit my daughter that day due to the baby house also being possibly shut down, that time still does count towards my mandatory bonding. The government shut downs just slow down my translator as she will be running around gathering documents, getting signature, filing papers, setting up our court date, etc. and if there is a shut down, that halts everything.
Really, I am not a whiner usually, but this is a bit sucky!
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Izaak, Elijah & Ty 'Bear'
Cousins (Izaak wants to name my daughter (his cousin) Isabella, Sant (for 'Santa') or Hershey (his friend's dog's name.) Hmmmm I told him that if we name her 'Hershey,' that would mean that we get to give her a lot of kisses.
Kolter Matthius Simon
Littlest Cousin......possibly. Kolter may indeed be the same age as his little girl cousin in Kaz. :)
11 comments:
It is very sucky! I'm so sorry you were disappointed and are so sad.
We are both getting caught up in the holidays -- here and there. You in your actual travel, and me in even getting to the point of an LOI! It's very inconvenient timing and makes the wait that much harder.
I didn't tune out and actually got pretty stressed about some of the stuff I heard and later read. It was a long night.
Hang in there!
Alysa
Hey Christy,
This time of year does suck. I totally know how you feel. I was told I would get my LOI this week but then when I Followed up with my US Coordinator I found out that the guy in kaz who gets our LOIs is out of pocket until Sunday. SO no LOI this week. Even though I have been told when I should be in KAZ until I get that LOI I am at the same spot as you. Assigned a region and waiting on the LOI. Hang in their ok, our daughters are waiting for us and I would much prefer be stuck over here then their if the holidays are going to slow things up.
It will happen... and then it will be sheer panic mode. Get ready our ride is just beginning.
Sandi
Suckity suck suck. For sure. But there will be such light at the end of this long tunnel! Hang in there girl.
Shannon
Chris, your "Braxton Hicks contractions" get ALL of us wound up! BUT, it comforts me to know that my niece will be with her mama for what probably will be her first Christmas. She'll never, ever spend a Christmas as an orphan. She'll never look at pictures in her baby book and see a Christmas missing. What a joy to possibly bring in the new year with your new daughter. That gives me such comfort and peace!
I am so sorry that you had this false alarm. It is very hard to be let down at this stage, where you think - here it is, to find out that no, its not, and especially when you know that the scheduling is so precarious this time fo the year. I hope you get your invite soon. S
Darling Daughter,
Please remember that this organization knows what they are doing as far as the timing of when your daughter is ready to greet you into her world. I, too, love the idea of your being with her for her first Christmas---and every Christmas thereafter. The wait is really tough, but we will have her FOREVER! She is such a lucky little girl!
Mom
I know exactly how you feel. I was in KZ last year at this time and got tied up by all the holidays, both theirs and ours. It can be trying. Hang in there - your LOI will come. Oh, and as for the cold brown water - because the pipes freeze it is usually hot - very hot - brown water, not cold. There were a few days when we could not shower until the pipes thawed because the water was too hot!!! The adventures of Kaz!!
Christy,
I just loved how your sister said that it was like false labor pains! How true that is!
You've been very upbeat and positive in your posts - very obvious that you're excited about your daughter (who wouldn't be!!!). But you're allowed to feel disappointment sometimes. I'm so glad you voiced this and put your heart right out there. They do say that the wait is the hardest - not that it makes everything all better.
Hugs, Eileen
Hi Christy. I am sorry you are feeling sad. But you are really so very close. I posted a comment on another blog and I want to say the same thing to you which is you are so far along in this process right now...some of us are in the middle of the tunnel and can just now begin to see the light at the end but you are really very close to the end of the tunnel. You are on the 20th mile of the 26th mile marathon and this is when everyone hits the wall. To make it to the end all that is required is that you last. You know that saying when you get to the end of your rope just tie a knot and hang on. That is what you have to do. Tie the knot and hang on....because you are coming down to the end, which is why it is so much harder than the beginning and the middle. You can do it.
I am sorry you are sad too.
It does, frankly , suck, but it is what it is. It's really better NOT be over there and get caught up in all the holiday delays. My dossier is at the MFA still...after 5 weeks-and there it sits. I think it will most likely sit there until end of January. But, this is the way i see it...especially after reading all these wonderful adoption blogs...our children are waiting for us.
When we experience delays, it's part of a grand master scheme because it's not our time to go.
I truly, honestly, believe that with all my heart and soul. Whether you are religious or not, there is a higher power in charge here.
Try to enjoy the festive holiday season and know that is this the last one you'll have to spend without your darling daughter.
You have a right to feel sad and disappointed, but your light will shine again.
{{{hugs}}}
I don't envy you... once you get this close it's like "get on with it already!" I had a feeling that there might be some delay because of this slow down. But, you're right, probably better to be frustrated about it here than frustrated about it while in Kazakhstan.
I'm sure you'll be on your way soon!
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